


Rent Me For Valentine's

by lxrrytbh



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Grinding, Hand Jobs, M/M, and of course some harry with toddlers, some side ziam, sort of??, zouis friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 23:01:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5983597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lxrrytbh/pseuds/lxrrytbh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Louis is sick of his family asking when he's going to get married. So, when they ask him who he's spending Valentine's Day with, he creates a boyfriend. Then they invite him and his bf to dinner... now he has to find someone. (Harry could be a friend/co-worker, someone from his past he ran into, a friend of a friend, the one he's been secretly in love with forever, whatever.)" </p><p>(I did change it slightly but I hope I did your vision justice!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rent Me For Valentine's

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iheartallthefandoms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iheartallthefandoms/gifts).



It’s a beautiful Sunday morning when Louis enters his childhood home. It’s only been a week since he last came home but the jumble of shoes that six people own never seizes to surprise him. He toes off his own and lets them merge with the mountain of footwear - ranging from winter boots with velcro for the little ones, a few pairs of trainers, heeled leather boots and a single fuzzy slipper, the latter presumably placed there by one of the toddlers - on the hall floor. He hangs his coat on a hanger and walks into the house.

 

His mum is sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea and the twins are in their highchairs with some apple slices. Doris sees him first and drops her snack to make grabby hands at him with a grin on her face and an excited shriek.

 

“Hiya love! Come give your big brother a cuddle!” Louis’ smile is as wide as his sister’s when he picks her up from her chair and spins her around. He ruffles Ernest’s hair before walking around the table to give his mum a kiss and sits down on the chair next to her with Doris in his lap. “Are the others still asleep?”

 

Jay chuckles and nods.

 

“Lazy bums, the whole lot. Won’t even get out of bed for their big brother!” he tuts and mockingly sighs in disapproval.

 

“Oh don’t pretend like you were any better, boo bear” his mum retorts and gets up to put her mug in the dishwasher. He cringes at the old nickname and turns to his little sister.

 

“What do you say, Doris? Should we go wake your sisters up?” Doris just smiles and paws at his face. Louis takes that as a yes.

 

+++

 

“Get up you lazy slobs, it’s almost twelve and you lot told me we would go grocery shopping” he shouts into Félicité’s dark room where she and Lottie are sleeping soundly. Doris is happily bouncing on his hip, clapping her hands. A pillow comes flying towards his face and someone hisses the word “knobhead”. He covers his sister’s ear with his free hand and pulls his most displeased face.

 

“Language! Not in front of the baby!”

 

He flips on the light and walks across the room, steering clear of the multiple piles of clothes on the floor, before sitting down at the edge of the bed. Doris climbs over Lottie’s legs and snuggles into the warmth between her sisters’ bodies.

 

“Seriously though, get up and get ready. We did promise Mum we’d help out with dinner today”

 

He’s satisfied with the chorus of groans he gets for an answer. He stands up and gives his sisters’ heads a kiss before picking Doris up. She’s not completely pleased but quickly cheers up when Louis enters the older pair of twins’ room to repeat the procedure.

 

+++

 

It takes them approximately 23 minutes, one hat (surprisingly not belonging to either of the toddlers) thrown angrily on the floor, a tantrum and a half and one promise of a bag of candy to even get outside but at last, but with the youngest pair of twins strapped in and secured in their car seats and scarves wrapped tightly around themselves, Louis and his abundance of siblings get in the seven seater. He backs out of the driveway and they’re off.

 

They get to the supermarket not much later. It’s a bit of a hassle to get seven people out of the car but soon enough the toddlers are sitting in the little trolley seats and they venture into the aisles of vegetables and fruit.

 

After a good thirty minutes of crossing things off the shopping list his mum gave him, they get to the checkout area. There’s a bloody Valentine’s day display that is all over the place, reminding everyone of their lonesome lives and empty beds. It didn’t cross Louis’ mind before but now that he’s noticed it, he’s starting to regret coming here with his family. The moment his sisters spot the cute teddybears and the heart shaped chocolate and the sodding roses, he mentally facepalms himself.

 

The shrieks of excitement pierce through his eardrums and he actually flinches. Instantly, Daisy is tugging on his right arm and Phoebe is dragging the trolley towards the set up.

 

“No, no, let’s not do this now. Can’t we please just pay for all the stuff and not touch the stupid lovey dovey stuff?” Phoebe just huffs and pouts but Daisy stomps her foot to the ground and crosses her arms.

 

“Louis, it’s not stupid! It’s romantic and sweet and I want to buy heart candies, Mum gave me my pocket money  yesterday and I can affor-”

 

“Daisy, please don’t do this right now?”

 

A very dirty look is aimed at him. The joy of preteen sisters.

 

“Fine, just because you don’t have a boyfriend”

 

“Excuse you, young lady, who’s to say I don’t?”

 

He doesn’t. He really doesn’t.

 

Four faces now turn to him, mouths open, jaws dropped, eyebrows raised. Basically, he’s fucked.

 

“I’m telling mum!”

 

“How can you not have told us?!”

 

“What’s his name?”

 

“Is he cute?”

 

The questions don’t stop and he thinks his life might actually be ruined.

 

+++

 

Dinner with his family went pretty smoothly. Either his sisters didn’t actually tell his mum or she’s incredibly good at hiding her curiosity because she didn’t say a word through the whole thing. It’s not until he’s on the train back to uni that he gets a text from her.

 

**I’m expecting this mystery boyfriend to come to dinner on Friday. Non-negotiable. 6.30 sound good? Love you x**

 

Why does the universe hate him?

 

_7.30 sounds great. Love you too xxx_

 

Why does he apparently hate himself? The train comes to a stop. He gets his bag from it’s place on the floor between his feet and stands up. There’s a small queue to the doors but soon enough he’s out on the platform, the cold air enveloping him. He pinches the bridge of his nose in an attempt to relieve some of the built up tension. How the hell will he get out of this mess alive?

 

+++

 

He wakes up at 6.24 and for one blissful moment he’s actually forgotten the hole he’s dug himself. Then he remembers and buries his face in his pillow and actually screams into it. He gets up and puts on a pair of joggers and a hoodie and walks out his room. After getting a cup of tea and a strawberry poptart he walks up to the door to Zayn’s room and after a few moments he finally feels brave enough to push it open. As quietly and gently as he can  though, not even breakfast in bed will prevent Zayn from smacking him in the bollocks most days.

 

“Zaynie? I got you tea and a poptart”

 

Nothing.

 

He puts the tray on the desk by the bed and sits down next to Zayn’s lifeless body. He pokes his hip twice. A small groan and some squirming. Louis sighs and prays that he won’t get killed in the process as he starts raising his hand to smack Zayn’s bum.

 

“Don’t you dare”

 

He quickly lowers his hand from halfway above his head and smiles, satisfied with getting Zayn to wake up without violence for once. Zayn lifts the covers and Louis happily gets under them. He snuggles into Zayn’s warmth and Zayn instinctively lifts his arm to wrap it around Louis’ torso.

 

“Zayn?” He feels shy all of a sudden.

 

“What’s up, babe?”

 

“I sort of… fucked up. Like, big time”

 

Silence.

 

“Louis, did you wash reds with whites again because I swear to god, if my last white shirt is pink I will fucking kil-”

 

“No, no, not that! Didn’t fuck that up again, promise. It’s a bit worse actually” He buries his face in the crook between Zayn’s shoulder and neck and breathes in the familiar scent of his skin and their laundry detergent.

 

“Lou, tell me what’s wrong, yeah? You’re kinda scaring me a bit” Zayn’s fingers card through his hair.

 

“I might have accidentally told my family that I… have a boyfriend. And I might have possibly agreed to bring said boyfriend to dinner at Mum’s on friday. And I might currently be panicking because I have no idea what to do” He squeezes his eyes shut and bites his lip as he awaits Zayn’s response.

 

He feels it before he hears it. Zayn’s chest starts to shake a little and then this high pitched giggle escapes his lips and Louis can’t believe that his supposed best friend is actually laughing at him right now. He gets up on one elbow and glares at him. Before Zayn can even say anything, Louis’ hand darts out and twists his left nipple.

 

“ Zayn, I am honestly so fucked right now and you’re laughing at me!”

 

Zayn is rubbing at his sore nipple but he’s still fucking laughing and Louis feels incredibly offended.

 

“Don’t be fucking rude. This poptart no longer belongs to you, that’s what you get for being a dick” He takes the poptart and takes half of it in one bite. He’s not even hungry but Zayn’s being a total knob so what can he do. Zayn keeps chuckling so he gets out of the bed and leaves the room. He throws away the rest of the poptart because there’s really no use in trying to spite Zayn if he can’t see him, is there?

 

+++

 

Louis’ on the sofa, curled up against the armrest  watching the drama unfold in an episode of The Real Housewives of somewhere, when Zayn leaves his room. He slumps down on the sofa, putting his head in Louis’ lap and shuffling around a little until he’s comfortable before he speaks.

 

“Okay, so… why can’t you tell them the truth?”

 

Louis sighs and rubs his eyes with his fists. He really should have gotten more sleep. He doesn’t even have class on Mondays and his shift at the coffee shop on campus doesn’t start until noon and it’s still only 8 in the morning. He might try to sneak in a nap.

 

“There is no way in hell I am letting Lottie know that I made up a boyfriend. Ever. She’d never let me hear the end of it and I’m not too keen on having to suffer because of this for the rest of my life. Plus, Fizzy’s got her new girlfriend and Lottie’s been with her boyfriend for ages and Mum’s been nagging about when I’m going to get hitched and I kinda don’t want to let her down, you know?”

 

Zayn nods and starts picking at a loose thread on Louis’ joggers. He gets up from Louis’ lap and leans back on the sofa, his head hanging off the back of it.

 

“I would ask you to play my boyfriend but Mum already knows you and I doubt she’d believe us. Maybe I could borrow Liam! Zayn, can I please borrow Liam?!” Louis says whilst clapping his hands and bouncing up and down, the way he does when he needs to look really cute and get what he wants.

 

Zayn’s head snaps up quicker than he’s ever seen him move before and he gives Louis a skeptical glare.

 

“You will not _borrow_ my boyfriend, Louis. Do you even hear yourself speak sometimes?”

 

“Fine, no need to be so pissy about it! Jesus… Just know that I would happily let you borrow mine if you were in this situation and I had a boyfriend” Louis rolls his eyes and tries to look his most passive aggressive.

 

“Well, you don’t have a boyfriend and that’s the reason you’re in this bloody mess to begin with”

 

Louis huffs and doesn’t actually feel as offended as he looks. He’ll figure this out with or without Zayn’s help. He has to.

 

+++

 

“Hiya, what can I get you today?” The well rehearsed line slips easily off his tongue, a polite and only slightly forced smile on his lips. His shift ends in 6 minutes and he was just about to close up for the day. He absolutely loathes the customers who come in right before closing time. He’s been working for nine hours now and he hasn’t gone out for a smoke yet, which is probably some kind of personal record. All in all, he’s not in a very good mood at all.

 

The person on the other side of the counter is absolutely fucking gorgeous. He’s got long hair that cascades over his shoulders and these mossy green eyes that seem to twinkle like those of a Disney princess. Maybe last minute customers aren’t so bad, Louis thinks to himself.

 

“Hi, could I have an iced caramel macchiato with a mocha drizzle and an extra shot of espresso? Almond milk and sugar free syrup too, please”

 

Nevermind, this guy’s a complete dick. Louis groans internally and taps the total into the cash register. Who would even order an iced drink in the middle of fucking January?

 

“That’ll be £4.50” he says through gritted teeth.

 

Mr Handsome Dickface (Louis just assumes that’s his name, it seems fitting enough) pays while Louis turns around to make his unnecessarily complicated drink.

 

He finally puts the straw through the lid and hands the drink over and wow, what did he do to deserve this? This man’s hands are truly a piece of art. They wrap around the plastic cup like it’s nothing while Louis fingers barely reach halfway around it and Louis feels his cheeks heat up. The curly headed man clear his throat and Louis suddenly realises that he hasn’t actually let go of the cup yet. He pulls his hand back as if he’d been burned and immediately averts his gaze to the floor. He absolutely hates himself sometimes.

 

“Um yeah, bye then” Curly says and starts walking backwards to the door. Louis mumbles something that resembles a “have a nice day” but doesn’t lift his head until the little bell above the door signals that the man has left.

 

He quickly rounds the counter and flips the sign that hangs in the window of the door from “OPEN” to “CLOSED”. Fucking finally.

 

He goes through his normal routine of cleaning the counters, wiping down the machines, rinsing metal pitchers and other chores that come with the closing shift and wallowing in self pity, nothing out of the ordinary. It’s only when he goes to clear the old flyers from the bulletin board that he’s drawn out of his own miserable train of thought. On the board is a flyer that he most certainly hasn’t seen before. Could whatever God that’s been listening have answered his half arsed prayers? Could this be his way out of the bloody mess he’s created for himself?

 

“ _Rent me for Valentine’s day!_ ” is what it says on the top of the flyer. It then goes on to explain that there are different options, or “packages”, available. There are also prices listed for each package and wow, okay this guy is expensive. (Louis already feels like a dick for lying to his mum, now he’s considering renting a human being - he’s awful.)

 

The options available vary from a change of facebook relationship status and a cute couple-y photo to post, meeting the friends (this one includes a public kiss even, hence the hefty price tag) and fuck yes, there it is!

 

_“Dinner with the parents - £40 (£30 if you have younger siblings because babies are cute)”_

 

In a matter of seconds (before he has time to rethink) he rips the flyer off the board and stuffs it into his bag before leaving the shop for the night.

 

+++

 

“Z, you home?” he calls out into the dark flat as he toes his shoes off in the hall. It’s almost ten but he doubts Zayn could be asleep, the boy’s more nocturnal than a bat for fuck’s sake. He turns on the light in the living room and sees a shirt that he’s pretty sure belongs to Liam. Great. He walks towards the bedrooms with determination and stops in front of Zayn’s. He takes a deep breath and bangs on the door.

 

“Zayn and Liam, I don’t care what sort of sexcapades you’re up to but it can wait. I call a family meeting right now because I am in the middle of a personal crisis and I need your wiseness and impeccable advice.” He adds a please for good measure. He then struts back to the sofa, carefully removing Liam’s shirt from it, and sits down. Within 3 minutes, Liam opens the door and walks out, pulling a shirt over his head and looking like a blind puppy for a few seconds before his head pops out of the collar. He could probably brutally murder someone with an axe and still look adorable, Louis thinks. Liam smiles a little apologetically at him and sits down next to him on the sofa. Zayn comes out looking like the complete opposite of Liam, wrapped only in his duvet, giving Louis what can only be described as a death glare. Louis really hopes he’s wearing pants under those sheets. Zayn slumps down in the arm chair and points a finger at Louis.

 

“This better be important”

 

Louis pulls the crumpled flyer from his bag and straightens out the worst of it before holding it up to let the other two boys read it.

 

“I found it after the last customer left, some dick who walked in literally 10 seconds before closing, can you believe him? And he had the most extra drink I’d done all day, which says a lot because the amount of people who’s found some secret menu bullshit on tumblr or pinterest or whatever would surprise you”

 

He keeps rambling until Zayn decides to open his mouth.

 

“Lou, this is fucking sick! This could solve it all, yeah? Give this guy a ring and then tell your Mum that you guys broke up a few days later?”

 

“Are you sure, Louis? He could be a total creep! It seems quite dodgy to me” Liam adds and the genuine concern in his voice could probably go up against Louis’ actual mother’s.

 

“Liam, as much as I do appreciate your motherly affection, I really fucking need to get out of this mess”

 

Liam lets out a small sigh and his exasperated facial expression tells Louis that he definitely does not think this is the solution but Liam already has a boyfriend so he doesn’t really have a say in this. (With that logic, neither should Zayn but Zayn agrees with Louis so he’ll allow it.)

 

“So I should call him, yeah?” Louis asks a bit nervously. (Why is he nervous? It’s not like it’s a real date for fuck’s sake.)

 

Zayn nods and Liam just knits his eyebrows together in a very disapproving yet sympathetic frown. (Liam’s still not getting a say in this.)

 

Louis goes on to talk about his day, especially Mr. Handsome Dickface, not really caring about the fact that Zayn is most probably asleep in his arm chair and Liam’s eyes are glued to his phone.

 

Things might actually start going his way, he thinks. (He is wrong.)

 

+++

 

The first thing he does in the morning, after taking a shower and getting dressed and drinking copious amounts of tea, is retrieving the flyer from the coffee table and sitting on the kitchen counter (it really is his favourite spot in their entire flat - his feet dangle in the air and he has a nice view of the rest of the rooms from above for a change) with his phone in one hand and the crumpled paper in the other. The number in the bottom right hand corner scares him just a little bit but he powers through it and opens a new text message on his phone.

What the hell do you say to a stranger you’re trying to hire?

 

_Hiya, I stumbled upon your flyer on the campus café bulletin board and I was wondering if you’re available for dinner this friday at around 7.30? I know it’s not technically Valentine’s Day but I hope the offer still stands? Anyway, just get back to me if you’re up for it and we can discuss it further._

 

That’s a perfectly acceptable text, right? Yeah, it’ll have to do, Louis thinks. He puts his mug in the sink, the sound of porcelain against the metal surface a bit too loud for eight in the morning. He winces slightly, puts his phone in his pocket and puts all the books for the day in his bag and walks out into the cold.

 

He gets the reply about two hours later. He’s sitting in the library, waiting for his next lecture to start.

 

**Hello you! Friday works for me. Where would you like to meet up? I’m free all day so just give me a time and a place. Xx**

 

Okay, wow, this is going great.

 

_Sick! I haven’t got class for another hour and a half. I’m currently at the library but I can meet you wherever? I’m Louis by the way :)_

 

He needs to tell Zayn about this later.

 

**I’m Harry! I’ll come to the library, it’s no trouble. See you in about 20 minutes? Xx**

 

Harry is a nice name. Rolls off his tongue nicely. (Why is he thinking about this?)

 

_Super :) I’m on the second floor by the windows! See you soon_

 

Louis is practically jumping with excitement. A weight is lifted off his shoulders after a very rough couple of days spent worrying about this god forsaken dinner.

 

(His attempts at getting back to his essay are all pretty pointless.)

 

+++

 

“Uhm, hi. Are you Louis?”

 

Louis looks up from his intense game of Candy Crush. (He was losing anyway.)

 

He isn’t really sure what he was expecting this Harry to look like but he is certain that it wasn’t large hands, dark curls and green, twinkly eyes.

 

“You’re Mr. Handsome Dickface!”

 

The words escape his lips before he can think about it. Fuck.

 

Harry looks a bit taken aback by the sudden exclaim. He raises his eyebrows in confusion.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

Louis’ face is as red as the sodding Valentine’s Day decorations that got him into this mess to begin with.

 

“Uh I’m sorry, so sorry! I didn’t mean that, I promise!” he splutters out in a total of about two seconds.

 

Harry is starting to look slightly amused and Louis feels sick.

 

“What did you call me? Mr. Handsome Dickface? What can I have possibly done to deserve such a title?”

 

“You came into the campus café six minutes before closing time yesterday and at first I thought you were super fit but then you ordered the worst drink I have ever heard of and I decided that Mr. Handsome Dickface seemed fitting and I have no idea why I’m actually telling you this right now, I’m a prick” Louis says it all in one go and feels slightly out of breath after it. (He really should stop smoking, this is embarrassing.)

 

There is a very long pause in which Louis refuses to look up from his lap, his face burning.

 

“So… you think I’m fit then?” Mr. Handsome Dic- sorry, Harry says, with a smirk so evident that Louis can practically hear it in his voice (which is really super deep and makes Louis feel hot for other reasons than his blushing face). He lifts his gaze to find Harry’s eyes focused on him.

 

“Really? I call you a dick and all you react to is the fact that I said you were fit?”

 

Harry shrugs and smiles dopily.

 

“You know, I just choose to focus on the positive things in life really”

 

“Oh really? Do you meditate and drink kale smoothies too?”

 

Harry just nods, looking smug as ever. Great, he’ll have to fake-date a hippie.

 

Louis motions to the chair beside him, silently asking Harry to sit down. The other man smiles and puts his worn leather satchel on the table in front of them.

 

“So, I have never done anything like this before, uhm, so how do you normally do this stuff?” Louis asks a bit warily.

 

“Christ, you make it sound like we’re dealing drugs, Lou” Louis pretends like the nickname doesn’t make his heart swell six times its original size.

 

“Basically, I just wanted to share my impeccable boyfriend skills with the general public and this is what happened. I did it last year too and earned myself nearly 200 quid so, here we are!” Harry beams at him. Like, there seems to be literal sunshine pouring out of those dimples. Louis almost flinches instinctively.

 

“Well. Great then! So yeah, I need a date to bring to dinner with my mum and her husband on Friday”

 

“That is established, yes. Do you mind me asking why? You don’t have to tell me, I’m happy to do it either way but I can’t help but wonder” Harry asks, the smile on his face verging on shy. Louis knew the question would come up sooner or later but he still sighs sheepishly and buries his face in his hands.

 

“I accidentally got meself into a right mess by making my mum think I have a boyfriend and I just know how happy she is for me and I can’t let her down now that it’s gone this far, can I?” Louis looks up and catches Harry’s eye, seeing how his lips are twitching in an attempt to keep from smiling. He’s failing desperately. (Louis doesn’t mind though, he quite likes Harry’s smile.)

 

“Well that’s… A tricky situation” The bastard bursts into a fit of giggles. He’s worse than Daisy and Phoebe.

 

“Oh shut up, you” Louis says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. (Not only because it makes his biceps look better but mainly that, if he’s honest. He does notice the way Harry’s eyes flicker to his arms before quickly shooting up again and is that...  is that a slight blush on his face?)

 

Harry clears his throat before speaking.

 

“Okay so, Friday at six thirty, right? I’m assuming we’ll stay until about ten-ish?”

 

Louis nods.

 

“Will it be your entire family or just parents?”

 

“I think it’ll just be Mum and Dan and the youngest twins. Doris and Ernest, they’re almost two now and pretty calm. Well, as calm as toddlers come, I guess” If Harry’s face looked like sunshine before, he’s a fucking supernova by now.

 

“I love babies” Harry looks positively maniacal.

 

“I can tell” Louis giggles. (Why is he giggling, Louis Tomlinson does not giggle.)

 

It’s only when Louis stomach makes a very loud rumbling noise that he checks the time on his phone.

 

“Fucking hell! It’s three minutes to twelve! Shit, shit, shit” he repeats the last words as a mantra under his breath as he throws all of his belongings into his scruffy looking backpack. Harry seems a little surprised by the sudden outburst of sound and movement but he stands up quickly and hangs around awkwardly.

 

“Hey, sorry, I’ve got to rush to class but I’ll come pick you up on friday around half five? Text me your address later and I’ll be there! Gotta run, bye Harry!” he shouts over his shoulder as he rushes out of the door and down the stairs outside the library, two steps at a time. He hears a faint “bye Louis” and smiles to himself.

 

When he gets home later that day, Zayn asks how it went and he tells him about the shocking  discovery that Mr. Handsome Dickface is the one who will save him from utter humiliation. (He doesn’t mention the fact that they talked for almost an hour or how his stomach was doing cartwheels every time Harry laughed.)

 

+++

 

Friday rolls around and soon enough, Louis is sitting in the driver’s seat of his car, on the street outside Harry’s dorm. The heating is turned up high but he’s still shivering, mitten clad hands rubbing some warmth into his numb thighs. There’s still a few minutes until he was supposed to come pick Harry up so he keeps jamming to Little Mix for a bit longer. He gets a little too into it though, as he’s caught dancing his little heart out a few minutes later. Harry taps his knuckles lightly on the window to the passenger side door and the grin on his face tells Louis that his passionate dancing has been seen. His face heats up as he turns the music down and while he appreciates the extra body warmth, he’s not really too pleased with turning beet red.

 

Harry opens the door and gracelessly slumps down in the seat, bundled up in winter gear.

 

“Hi” he says when he’s settled in, after shuffling around a bit. He turns his head to look at Louis, a big smile on his face.

 

The last few days have consisted of lectures on his family and agreeing on a backstory for their relationship. It’s all been over text though, because Niall, his boss at the café, called him in for two extra shifts; apparently he doesn’t trust the new employees and Liam felt a bit poorly. (Which means that Zayn will be sick as well when he gets back. Louis does not look forward to the level of grumpiness he will have to endure this following weekend.) The endless conversations with Harry have been a nice escape from grumpy customers and the reading he’s had to do for class. (Are they friends now? He would say they’re friends? Yeah, they’re friends.)

 

“I liked your dancing. You seemed very... Enthusiastic. May I ask what you were listening to?” His devious grin is still there.

 

Louis simply turns the volume back up, a sheepish half smile on his crimson face. Grown by Little Mix is now playing and Harry’s face lights up like a christmas tree. He starts jumping in his seat like an excited child and turns to Louis with an even bigger smile. (How is that even possible?)

 

“I fucking love this song!” he shouts and then proceeds to belt out Perrie’s solo. Louis is a bit taken aback, both by the incredible voice Harry has and the volume of said voice. He snaps out of it quickly and joins him in time for Leigh-Anne’s part.

 

He starts driving and for most of the trip they keep singing, letting the entire Get Weird album run until it pops out of the stereo (yes, Louis bought the CD) and then Harry plugs the AUX cord to his phone to play Salute.

 

When they’re about 15 minutes away from his childhood home, Louis turns the volume down and pulls up to the side of the street.

 

“Okay, so we’re almost there so let’s go through the story again”

 

Harry nods and turns his body to face Louis.

 

“We met 3 months ago, in the café where I accidentally spilled my coffee on myself and you let me clean up in the back but my shirt was pretty much ruined so you gave me one of your work ones and I came back with it the next day and I’d put a note with my number on top of it and you were swooned. Correct?”

 

Louis’ internal organs seem to be doing some complicated dance routine. He nods and swallows thickly. (Why does a fake story affect him like this?)

 

“I was thinking about how we should deal with affection and stuff? Like, are you okay with small kisses, hand holding, all that stuff?” Louis eyes shift from Harry’s face to his own lap, feeling that god damned blush creeping up his neck again.

 

“Oh, yeah! I’m all up for kisses, it would definitely increase the credibility and you know, you have pretty lips so it’s not a problem” Louis can, yet again, hear the smirk in Harry’s voice and when Louis looks up again, he catches Harry licking his lips. His stomach does the fluttery thing again and he thinks that what was supposed to be the solution to his problem might just be dragging him further down the rabbit hole.

 

Fuck.

 

+++

 

They arrive at the house and Louis’ pulse is running wild. He gets out of the car, embracing the cold for once as he feels the heat in his cheeks slowly subduing. Harry gets out on the other side and Louis gestures for him to walk up the little stone pathway to the door. He shuts the door to the car and presses the lock button on the key. He walks over to where Harry is standing before the front door, smiling at the two snowmen that decorate the front lawn, looking slightly sad.

 

“So… Are you ready?” Harry says and nudges Louis with his elbow. Louis nods and takes a step forward.

 

“Here goes nothing”

 

He knocks on the door three times and steps back again. He can hear the sound of small feet against hardwood floors and high pitched giggles through the door and when the door opens, both of his legs are captured by two small sets of arms. He ruffles Ernest’s hair and bends down to hug them both.

 

He ushers them back inside and reaches a hand back to lead Harry in too. Harry takes it and Louis’ not sure if he’s imagining it, but he feels a faint squeeze around his fingers. Either way, it does make him feel a tiny bit better about this. The kids stare at Harry for a little while, curiosity visible on their faces, before they run inside and Louis reaches over give his mum a hug and a kiss.

 

“Missed you” he mumbles against her skin. He draws back and unzips his coat. He takes Harry’s hand again and turns to face Jay. “Mum, this is Harry” he says proudly. (Should he feel proud to call Harry his boyfriend? Probably not.)

 

Jay only smiles and pulls Harry into a bone crushing embrace. Harry looks thoroughly surprised but hugs her back nonetheless. Louis’ chest feels tighter suddenly.

 

“Hello Mrs. Deakin, it’s very nice to meet you” Harry shoots her that sunshine smile and Louis can see that she’s gone already.

 

“Oh, please, call me Jay! It’s so nice to meet you too, love” she says with soft eyes and a warm smile.

 

She gives Harry’s shoulder a last squeeze and leaves them to get out of their jackets and shoes. Louis turns to face Harry and he looks absolutely entranced. Louis smiles at the way his eyes twinkle twice as much as usual, assumedly because of the fact that there are toddlers within a 15 meter radius. They hang their coats in the closet and toe off their shoes, then they venture into the living room. Dan is sitting on the sofa with Jay on his right, arm around her shoulder. He gets up to give Louis a quick hug and then turns to Harry.

 

“You must be Harry, then! I’m Dan, so nice to meet you” His voice is kind and Louis is very thankful that he didn’t actually do the whole threatening father figure thing. That would have been terribly embarrassing. (Why? This is not real, remember?)

 

“That would be me, yes. I’m very pleased to meet you as well, Louis has told me so much good things about you both” his smile is blinding. (And wow, he really did not joke around when he said he had mad boyfriend skills.)

 

Dan beams back at him and is about to say something more when Ernest appears at his leg, tugging at his shirt. He’s hiding his face but sneaks shy peaks at Harry with a curious smile. Harry squats down and his face softens like butter.

 

“Who might you be, little one?” Ernie giggles adorably and hides his face behind Dan’s thigh. Before Harry can do anything else, Doris comes rushing towards him and nearly topples him over with the force of her hug.

 

“Lou!” she shrieks and claps her hands excitedly. Her red curls are flying all around on her little head. She tries to climb onto Harry’s lap and this time he does fall backwards. He lands on his bum and Doris giggles and sits herself down on his thigh happily.

 

“Yeah, I like Louis too! He’s amazing, isn’t he?” Harry’s smile is bright and sunny as he bounces her up and down.

 

Ernest seems to be encouraged by his sister’s actions as he walks over slowly and plops down on Harry’s other leg. Harry looks absolutely in his element and Louis feels a twist in his gut and he’s not sure what it means. (He’s sure. He wants Harry’s babies, is what it means.)

 

He can tell that both Jay and Dan are completely hooked on him and the twins seem to adore him even more and Louis can’t help but wish this was his reality. He really wants this with someone.

 

Before he gets lost in his thoughts, he joins Harry on the floor. He grabs Doris and pretends to take bites of her tummy until she’s shrieking with laughter. Yeah, he could really get used to this.

 

+++

 

Dinner goes very smoothly, no awkward silences (much thanks to Harry’s incredible conversational skills) and they had their story so well rehearsed that his mum bought every single detail. They discussed Doris’ and Ernie’s upcoming birthday party (how can they be two already? It feels like they were born just yesterday). He asked where the rest of the family had to be hidden away for this and his mum told him that Félicité is staying with her girlfriend for the night and the older set of twins are spending the night at their aunt’s. Lottie’s out with her friends and will probably stay with them tonight.

 

At around half seven, the twins are both knackered and start to get grumpy. It starts with toys thrown about in a small hissy fit but when Doris simply lays down on the floor and wails, they decide that it’s bed time. Harry watches with puppy eyes as Dan prepares their bottles and Louis knows exactly what to do.

 

He approaches Dan by the kitchen counter and clears his throat.

 

“Hey, do you think that me and Harry could, maybe… Put them to bed?”

 

Dan looks at him with wide eyes.

 

“Sure, what did we do to deserve this treat? First a lovely dinner and then a night off?” Dan laughs.

 

Louis smiles and only feels halfbad for lying because this is actually somewhat true.

 

“You know, it’d be… Good practice?” he says quietly. Dan’s eyes go even wider and he smiles so widely that Louis thinks his cheeks must hurt.

 

He walks back to where Harry is sitting with Jay on the sofa, a baby in each lap, and he’s holding the two bottles. Harry’s face lights up and he looks like he could burst with joy.

 

“Mum, we’ll take it from here” Louis says with a smile. She looks surprised but quite relieved. Oh, the difference one night off can make when you have toddlers.

 

Harry carries a very sleepy Ernest and Louis’ helping Doris walk up the stairs. They enter the nursery and Louis pulls out two onsies and fresh nappies. Louis changes Doris first and then hands her to Harry who puts her in her jammies. They repeat the procedure with Ernie and then Harry turns the light off and they grab a toddler each.

 

“Okay, so I usually sing a little while they finish their bottles and then get them into bed and then I leave. Do you want to sing something in particular?”

 

Harry could have never turned the light off because his smile makes the whole room brighter than before. (Since when did Louis become so fucking cheesy?)

 

Harry gets comfortable in the grey armchair in the corner of the room, Doris snuggled up close on his chest. He opens his mouth and wow, Louis knew he could ace Little Mix solos but the sound that escapes his lips is softer than anything he’s ever heard. He recognises the tune immediately and smiles, very grateful that his blush isn’t visible through the dark.

 

_“Isn’t she lovely?_

_Isn’t she wonderful_

_Isn’t she precious_

_Less than one minute old”_

 

He finishes the song and Doris is already sleeping soundly, her head,lulling softly in time with his breathing, on his shoulder. Louis thinks he might die from the sight.

 

Harry smiles at her and gently picks her up, putting her down in her crib. He pulls the covers up and places the little stuffed elephant in her arms. Soon enough Ernest follows suit and Louis puts him down with a kiss on his forehead and whisper of “love you, little man”. He kisses Doris too and then they leave the room.

 

+++

 

Louis can hear the TV running from upstairs and leads Harry to the living room where they find Jay and Dan. There are two bowls of ice cream on the coffee table waiting for them and Louis sighs in content at the sight of them. He grabs Harry’s hand and drags him over to the sofa and hands him one of the bowls. (Obviously the one with less ice cream in it. He has grown up with siblings and learned early on that survival of the fittest does apply to family life.)

 

He goes to sit down with his bowl next to his mum but Harry makes a disapproving noise around the spoon in his mouth, gesturing for  Louis to come sit on his lap instead which, okay. Louis is not opposed to that. He walks over, pretending not to hear his mother’s squealing, and sits down next to Harry on the armchair. It’s too small for him to sit down fully so he turns around 90 degrees and stretches his legs over Harry’s instead. He gets comfortable and is slightly surprised when Harry presses a sweet kiss to his cheek. (Right, appearances, yes, of course. Still doesn’t stop his heart from jumping out of his chest.)

 

He turns his face to Harry’s, and plops a dollop of ice cream on his nose. Harry scrunches up his nose all cute and cheeky and Louis feels his heart tighten up. He scoops up the ice cream with a finger and puts it in his mouth, smiling around the fingertip.

 

Harry’s mouth hangs open for a moment before his attention is entirely devoted to his bowl.

 

The rerun of The X Factor on the telly is suddenly interrupted by an emergency news segment. There is a blizzard on the way and the people in the area between Barnsley and Castleford are advised to not leave their houses. The roads are all covered in deep snow and it looks like they won’t be cleared until morning tomorrow.

 

“Looks like you’ll be staying here tonight, boys. I’ll go fix Louis’ old room for you, then I think I’m off to bed. That wine went straight to my head” she laughs and stands up. She presses a kiss to Louis head on her way out of the room. Louis looks at Harry with a sheepish expression and tries his very hardest to convey his apologies through telepathic messages but he doubts they work.

 

They finish their ice cream and say goodnight to Dan when he heads upstairs too. As soon as he’s left the room, Louis gets up and sits down on the sofa instead. (He misses the warmth of Harry’s body but he has a feeling that he most definitely shouldn’t.)

 

“Haz, I’m really sorr-”

 

“Louis, don’t be silly! It’s a blizzard, not like you can control the weather or summat. Besides, you let me put Doris to bed which is probably the best thing I’ve done since I won a huge stuffed giraffe at a theme park when I was 11. It’s fine, trust me” Harry’s voice is soft and his smile is warm. “Now I, for one, am completely knackered so I say we go to bed”

 

He stands up and grabs both of their bowls. Louis gets up too and follow him into the kitchen. They put the empty bowls in the dishwasher and Louis starts walking toward the stairs. Harry grabs his hand, intertwining their fingers, and follows him.

 

“Harry, Mum and Dan are already sleeping” Louis says quietly, as if any sudden noise will destroy the beautiful moment.

 

Harry’s silent for a moment, then mumbles a soft “I know”. He doesn’t let go.

 

+++

 

Jay has put on clean sheets and an extra pillow on the bed, as well as a pair of joggers and a tshirt for both of them. (They’re all Louis’ old stuff and while he has to cuff the bottoms of  the joggers, he highly doubts they will reach anywhere below Harry’s knees.)

 

“So yeah, we can share the bed or I can sleep on the sofa downstair or-” he’s cut off. Again.

 

“Louis, please, it’s fine! I promise!” Harry puts a hand on his shoulder and he looks utterly sincere, small smile playing on his lips. “Also, wouldn’t your mum notice something’s off if she finds out you let your boyfriend sleep alone?”

 

(Louis does most certainly NOT notice that Harry didn’t include the word “fake” when calling himself Louis’ boyfriend. Definitely not.)

 

“Yeah, okay. I’m gonna go brush my teeth. There’s a spare toothbrush if you want one too?”

 

Harry shoots him a toothy grin and follows him to the bathroom across the hall.

 

They brush their teeth in silence, the only  noise being the tap running. Afterwards, Harry washes his face with some water and walks toward the door.

 

“I’m just gonna have a wee, be right there” Louis says and shuts the door when Harry’s gone.

 

He is thoroughly fucked. (Sadly, not literally.)

 

+++

 

When he’s finished and gone back to his old room, the door is slightly ajar. He pushes it open and finds Harry fast asleep, closest to the wall, hair splayed out on the pillow like some sort of halo. It seems fitting since he looks like an angel, face soft and relaxed, eyelids flickering as he’s dreaming. (Seriously? Looks like an angel? Since when did he get this sappy?)

 

He shuts the door and walks over to the bed, carefully sitting down on the edge of it. He freezes when he sees that Harry’s pile of clothes still remains untouched on the desk. As in, he’s not wearing them. He notices that the clothes he was wearing during the day are all hung over the back of the chair in the corner of the room and his eyes dart to Harry’s lifeless body, chest slowly rising and falling under the covers. If that’s how it’s gonna be, Louis won’t sleep in his clothes either. At least not all of them. He takes off the joggers and throws them on the floor, climbing under the covers. (He’s both relieved and slightly disappointed to see that Harry still has his pants on but oh well.)

 

He falls asleep after an unusually short amount of time. (He’s pretty sure it has something to do with the heat seeping through the thin fabric of his shirt, where his back is pressed to Harry’s.)

 

+++

 

Louis wakes up at arse o’clock and he’s not really sure why. He can’t hear the twins so it’s not them and it’s still pitch black in the room so the sun’s not up yet. Then he feels it. Something is poking him in the lower back. And someone’s arm is lazily draped around his waist, holding him close. When he realises what kind of situation he’s in, he gasps and his body goes stiff (pun intended). He can feel Harry stir in his sleep and oh my god, did Harry just grind against his bum? The soft moan that echoes throughout the room says he did. Wow. Louis is not entirely sure what to do but when is he ever?

 

“Uh, Harry? Harry, wake up”

 

Nothing but another grind. (If his cock is starting to fatten up in his pants, it is not his fault.)

 

“Harry!” he whispers harshly. Harry jolts awake and mumbles adorably for a moment before he realises what’s going on.

“What- Oh, shit! Lou, I’m so sorry, I-”

 

“It’s fine, Harry. Promise. It happens to the best of us” (he’s half hard already so he really isn’t one to talk).

 

Harry doesn’t say anything but Louis can imagine what he’s feeling. He turns around slowly (quite gracelessly now that he has to cover up his stiffy) and finds Harry lying facedown on the pillow. He smiles and sympathises with him.

 

“Haz”

 

No response which, okay, that’s understandable. But Louis won’t settle for it.

 

He pulls on an extra springy curl and Harry finally shows him his face. He’s cringing and Louis almost laughs at how cute he looks.

 

“Harry, it’s fine, really. No harm done!” his voice breaks on the last word and he feels hot all over.

 

Harry looks like he’s about to say something but Louis cuts him off with a very, extremely impulsive kiss. He’s never been good with impulse control and it usually only causes him trouble but when he feels Harry kiss him back, he thinks this might be the exception to the rule. He pulls away and can feel the heat spread across his face, knows that he’s probably a lovely shade of scarlet right now.

 

“Hi” Harry smiles dopily at him, eyes wide and dimples on display.

 

“Hi” Louis smiles back. He gently pushes a few stray curls out of Harry’s face but his fingers linger on his cheek. It’s very soft, he thinks.

 

Harry’s eyes flicker down to his lips and he surges forward, reattaching their lips. Harry’s tongue easily slips past Louis’ lips, dancing around his mouth, exploring every millimeter. Louis’ hand travels down to rest on Harry’s collarbone, feeling the hot skin there. Harry’s lips are soft but his fingers are rough where they run down Louis’ spine, coming to a stop just below his arse. He feels Harry wrap his hand around the back of his thigh and in a matter of seconds, he’s straddling him, moaning into his mouth. He grinds down filthily and the friction is so good, despite two layers of fabric. Harry’s hips are bucking frantically and Louis grinds down again and again.

 

Only a few minutes later, they’re both breathing fast and hard, hips rolling and grinding in desperation. Louis’ lips feel bruised as they slide against Harry’s, small and breathy moans slipping out occasionally. He feels sparks run through his veins and just needs something more, can’t get enough of Harry.

 

“Harr- ah, Harry, touch me, please touch me” he manages to whisper against the soft skin of Harry’s cheek, hissing when Harry grabs a hold on his arse and pushes him down as he thrusts up. As soon as Harry realises what he’s said, his eyes focus on Louis’, pupils blown wide.

 

It’s a bit fumbly (bloody covers getting in the way, ugh) but when his hand slips past the waistband of Louis’ boxers, Harry moans. His long, slender fingers wrap around Louis’ cock and Louis’ head is thrown back, mouth hanging open. Harry starts pumping his fist up and down at a high speed, his hips moving in sync with Louis’. He’s completely wrecking him and Louis absolutely loves it.

 

It takes about fifteen more seconds until Louis comes undone, filled with such bliss and white hot pleasure, shooting ropes of white over Harry’s fist and his own stomach. Harry thrusts up two more times and then comes in his pants, his body convulsing under Louis’. Louis slumps down on Harry’s chest, resting his head in the crook of his neck. He kisses the delicate spot behind his ear. As Harry pulls a sticky hand out of his boxers, Louis gets up and pulls out one of the desk drawers. He rummages around for a while but finally finds the box of tissues at the back.

 

“Aha! These still come in handy” he says with a smirk. He hands one to Harry and takes one himself too, cleaning up the remaining come from his stomach. He takes off the sticky pants too, and gets back in bed. Harry’s removed his as well and Louis takes the dirty tissue and throws it over his shoulder.

 

“Thank you Louis, for turning a very humiliating experience into one of the best orgasms I’ve had in my life” Harry deadpans. Louis bursts into giggles at the absurdity of the entire situation and Harry starts giggling too but silences them both with a gently kiss and Louis heart feels too big for his chest.

 

“Lou, I’m tired” Harry mumbles into his hair. Louis sneaks an arm around Harry’s torso and snuggles closer.

 

“Me too, Haz. Me too” he mumbles back.

 

They fall asleep wrapped up in each other and Louis feels lighter than he has in weeks.

 

+++

 

When they walk down the stairs the next morning, hand in hand, it’s not even a tiny bit pretend.

 

_The end._


End file.
